Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the glen, Not a creature was stirring, not even a wren. The stockings were hung by the beetle hole with care, In hopes that St. Beetle soon would be there. The larvae were nestled all snug in their shell, While visions of aphids danced, oh how swell! And Mama in her carapace, and I in my thorax, Had just settled in for a long winter's relax. When out on the bark there arose such a chatter, I sprang from my chitin* to see what's the matter. Away to the tree trunk I scuttled real quick, Tore open the crevice and threw back the stick. The moon on the beetle-made dew, oh so bright, Gave the lustre of midday to the beetle's delight. When, what to my multi-faceted eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight dung beetles near! With a little old driver, so lively and spry, I knew in a moment it must be St. Beetle Nick, oh my! More rapid than carrion beetles, his coursers they came, And he whistled, and clicked, and called them by name! "Now Dung-beetle! Now, Rhinoceros! Now, Firefly and Beetle-weevil! On, Ladybug! On, Stag-beetle! On, Hercules and Ground-beetle! To the top of the leaf! To the top of the twig! Now crawl away! Crawl away! Crawl away big!" As ants on a sugar trail before the feast fly, When they catch scent of honey, straight to the sky. So up to the treetop the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of aphids, and St. Beetle Nick too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the bark, The prancing and crunching of each little dark. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the beetle hole St. Beetle Nick came with a bound. He was dressed all in elytra, from his head to his feet, And his exoskeleton was shiny, oh how neat! A bundle of beetles he had flung on his back, And he looked like a collector, opening his pack. His eyes - how they sparkled! his antennas, how merry! His elytra were iridescent, his carapace a grand ferry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the setae on his legs were as white as the snow. The stump of a stump bug he held tight in his jaws, And the mandibles encircled his chomper with gauze. He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook when he laughed, like a jelly. He was robust and glossy, a right jolly old beetle, And I laughed when I saw him, oh what a treat! A blink of his eyes and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his pile, And filled all the hollows, then left with a smile. And laying his leg aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the tree he rose! He crawled to his sleigh, to his team gave a click, And away they all flew, oh so quick! But I heard him exclaim, as he buzzed out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!" *I am now aware it's pronounced "ki-tin"

Beetle! x 5 Beetle Christmas! x 4 (To be whispered while listening) O Sancti Scarabaei Natalitii 🐞, Qui in silentio noctis festivae brillatis, Vos rogamus, nobis lucem vestram revelare. Per adventum vestrum, donum Natalis nobis detur, Ut caritas et pax in terra maneat, Sicut sub alis vestris subnixi. In nomine Lucis Natalitiae, Amen. 🙏

[Verse 1] In a Christmas beetle town, Snowflakes falling, all around. Antlers made of candy canes, Beetles dancing in the lanes. [Chorus] Oh, Christmas bells, a joyful sound, In beetle town, love is all around. Oh, festive bugs, spreading cheer, Tiny creatures we hold dear. [Verse 2] Underneath the mistletoe, Beetles gather, to and fro. Beneath the twinkling lights, They celebrate winter nights. [Chorus] Oh, Christmas bells, a joyful sound, In beetle town, love is all around. Oh, festive bugs, spreading cheer, Tiny creatures we hold dear. [Bridge] Snowy hills, a sleigh they ride, In beetle joy, we all confide. Gifts exchanged, wrapped so small, Beetle magic, for one and all. [Verse 3] In their Christmas festive wear, Whiskers tinged with frosty air. Caroling through the quiet glen, Beetle joy, again and again. [Chorus] Oh, Christmas bells, a joyful sound, In beetle town, love is all around. Oh, festive bugs, spreading cheer, Tiny creatures we hold dear.

[Verse 1] Beneath the boughs, where moonlight gleams, A Christmas tree adorned with beetle dreams. Their tiny shells, a festive array, Glistening bright in the holiday sway. [Chorus] Beetle baubles, on each branch they cling, A unique decor, in the quiet of winter's wing. In the cozy glow, their colors take flight, A Christmas tree adorned with beetle light. [Verse 2] Crawling with joy, on the evergreen, Nature's ornaments in a magical scene. With antennae adorned like tinsel so fine, The beetles dance in the moonlit shine. [Chorus] Beetle baubles, on each branch they cling, A unique decor, in the quiet of winter's wing. In the cozy glow, their colors take flight, A Christmas tree adorned with beetle light.

[Phone Call] You gotta get them outta here, I mean All I'm seeing are insects enjoying Christmas They have such an exuberant display of life And they're all just dancing around... [Verse 1] It's Christmas Eve, the beetles are in the tree, Little bugs celebrating, buzzing with glee. Red and green shells, a festive display, In the holiday spirit, they dance and sway. [Chorus] Christmas beetles, clickin' with delight, Tiny ornaments in the moonlight. Crawling through the snow, a merry sight, Beetle carolers singing, oh so bright. [Carolers Singing] [Verse 2] Dung beetles rolling snowballs in the cold, Silver glitter on their backs, pure beetle gold. Insect carriages hitched to sleighs, Through winter gardens, they make their ways. [Chorus] Christmas beetles, clickin' with delight, Tiny ornaments in the moonlight. Crawling through the snow, a merry sight, Beetle carolers singing, oh so bright. [Bridge] From fir needles to beetle parades, In the beetle world, a holiday charade. Scarabs and weevils, all shapes and kinds, In Christmas bug harmony, joy unwinds. [Verse 3] Fireflies twinkling like Christmas lights, In the beetle ballroom, a dance takes flight. Ladybugs waltzing on a leafy floor, Nature's Christmas party, open every door. [Chorus] Christmas beetles, clickin' with delight, Tiny ornaments in the moonlight. Crawling through the snow, a merry sight, Beetle carolers singing, oh so bright. [Outro] So here's to beetles, in yuletide cheer, Tiny festive bugs, spreading joy near. In the insect realm, a Christmas parade, Beetles celebrating in the winter cascade. [Phone Call] I mean, I've been here hours and... They just seem to keep replicating, they seem to... There's more and more of them! And they have such festive cheer and delight, and I just honestly don't know what to do!

[Verse 1] I’m not a Halloween hound dog Or July 4th bumblebee I’m not a Father’s Day ferret Or St. Valentine’s Day flea [Chorus] I’m a Christmas beetle, baby And that’s all I can say I’m a Christmas beetle, baby Riding shotgun in a Christmas sleigh [Verse 1] I’m not a Chanukah hedgehog Or a Yuletide chickadee I’m not a festive New Year’s chipmunk Or a Mayday chimpanzee [Chorus] I’m a Christmas beetle, baby And that’s all I can say I'm a Christmas beetle, baby Scurryin' up your wall on Christmas Day

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine yourself in a serene forest, surrounded by the gentle hum of Christmas beetles. Feel the rhythm of the binaural beatles syncing with your breath, calming your mind. Let go of any tension as you visualize soft lights dancing like fireflies. Embrace the tranquility, and with each exhale, release any lingering stress. Stay in this peaceful moment, and when you're ready, gently open your eyes, refreshed and centered. Like a beetle.